Stonewalling

Stonewalling is a communication behavior characterized by withdrawing from an interaction, refusing to engage, and creating a sense of distance between oneself and another person. It is typically manifested through silence, evasiveness, changing the subject, or offering minimal responses.

In interpersonal relationships, stonewalling is considered a destructive communication pattern. It often occurs during conflict or disagreement and prevents constructive resolution. The person engaging in stonewalling effectively shuts down communication, leaving the other party feeling ignored, invalidated, and unheard. This can lead to frustration, resentment, and damage to the relationship.

The motivations behind stonewalling can vary. Some individuals may stonewall as a defense mechanism to avoid conflict or emotional vulnerability. Others may use it as a form of control or punishment. Regardless of the underlying cause, the consistent use of stonewalling undermines trust and intimacy.

Researchers identify stonewalling as one of the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" that predict relationship failure, along with criticism, contempt, and defensiveness. Overcoming stonewalling typically requires self-awareness, a willingness to communicate openly, and the development of healthier conflict resolution strategies. Therapy or counseling can be helpful in identifying the root causes of stonewalling behavior and developing more effective communication skills.